"We are raising kids who are EXPERIENCE rich but RELATIONSHIP poor."
I started a parenting sermon series by Andy Stanley this week. He suggests that our kids are a mix of 3 things - relationships, choices and experiences.
And of those 3, it's their relationships that mold them into the people they become. Relationships with parents, relationships with God, and relationships with people outside your home.
We wear busy as a badge of honor in America. I think that comes with extreme sacrifices. We lose deep relationships in exchange for the breadth of relationships. We "know folks" - we have ballpark moms, school moms, employees we see regularly. We know folks. But, we have lost the front porch lingering that our country was built upon.
This high school gig has become so real this week. This having 4 more years of the Princess in our home, under our guidance is weighing heavily on me. I'm trying to be INTENTIONAL with her.
I'm asking myself - What can I do to solidify my relationship with her?
I desire to INFLUENCE her, not control her. And that's a tough line in the teen years I think. Yesterday I sat with a mom/daughter journal and I wrote openly to her. How I desire for her to grow, be challenged, change. But how I also struggle with providing her good boundaries, fair limits and the right support.
I'm asking myself - What can I do to advance her relationship with God?
She's going to encounter lots of choices in the next 4 years. I need her to feel accountable to God. I need her to know what He would have her do when offered drugs or alcohol. When put in tough positions. When asked to go or do things she's not ready for. I want her to be held accountable to Him, not me. I want her to know the comfort of knowing she's loved by Him. Please let her skip the bad boys phase - I swear I endured enough for us both. I want her to fully surrender to what He would have for her life.
I'm asking myself - What can I do to influence her relationship with friends?
Stanley says " Your friends will determine the direction and quality of your life."
That's so true in the teen years. But it's not just about protecting our kids from the ones who we know might lead them astray. It's praying for God to show us who we need to draw closer to our kids. It's about nurturing them. Loving them AND loving the people God brings into their lives.
Mama Warriors, we have to be INTENTIONAL with our kids. And it's hard. Because being intentional means we have to put RELATIONSHIPS above experiences. And that's not how our society runs. Spending time with our kids, really spending time with them, has to trump being their full time taxi driver.